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Our Guidelines
These are our community guidelines. They are living and evolving, shaped continuously as the community grows and changes.
Over the past two years, the core team has been working intentionally on communication, how to consciously deal with conflict and understanding deeper what it means to be trauma-informed and neurodivergent. From this work, we have developed a set of values and ways of relating that guide how we speak to and with each other. These values are not imposed as rules on the community. Instead, they emerge from the core team and are offered as a foundation and reference point, gently informing the culture we collectively build together.
As a community, we remain open to feedback, critique, and suggestions regarding these guidelines. They are not fixed in stone, but are meant to be shaped collectively over time. Input that helps refine, clarify, or evolve them is always welcome and considered an important part of how we continue building this together.
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Consent & negotiaion
This is our approach to negotiation and how we practice consent in our spaces. For those familiar with our RBDSM, this is our interpretation of it. We have adjusted the sequence slightly, added a few elements, and refined the format to make it more clear and aesthetically coherent. This is the structure we encourage everyone to use as a shared language before engaging in play.
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Lets dive deeper into communication
Over the years, we have been practicing conflict resolution, conscious and healthy communication, and also how to apologize and repair when things feel difficult. These are important parts of community, because the intention is never that someone should feel excluded or lose access to community simply because of a conflict.
What we have created from these learnings are not fixed rules, but guiding frameworks. They are tools we are continuously refining and trying to live by, rather than something set in stone.
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This is where we draw the lines
Within the community, we also work with clearer guidelines around harm reduction. This includes how we understand and differentiate levels of harm, and how we respond in a way that is proportionate and responsible. All situations are handled with care and confidentiality, and everyone involved is given space to speak and share their perspective. We aim to support mediation in a way that is fair, grounded, and with empathy. If harm has occurred, there is always a space for accountability work, which means a process for the person to take responsibility, takes actions for repair, and then possibly re-enter the community.
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